Jingle all the way…

Thanksgiving went well, and the girls ate a lot and enjoyed everything. I actually liked the cranberry salad (a first) and we all had plenty to eat.

There was a lot of laughter at the table, but the most laughter came from a simple misunderstanding. We were talking about Christmas, and I asked the girls if they knew “Jingle Bells”

Her oldest daughter said “What?!?!” and started laughing hysterically, the rest of us sat there staring at her wondering what the joke was. After she calmed down a bit, she said “Did you say　ちんげのべろ　(chinge no bero)?”

At which point the other two began blushing and laughing (and I’m guessing those of you reading this who understand Japanese are also at least smiling a bit)
meanwhile I was still clueless…

Thanksgiving as a foreign concept

My girlfriend and her kids haven’t really had a “Real” Thanksgiving, so this year I’m making a big meal, so they can see what it’s all about.

I’ve already discovered that a lot of the concepts are lost on them.

I mentioned that I’d be putting the turkey in the oven at 5 am, so it would be done in time, and she said “What? We have it for lunch, not dinner?”

I said yes, (I honestly have a hard time waiting that long to eat, once the smell of turkey is in the air) and she said, “Then what do we have for dinner?”

I replied that it was kind of an all day event, you eat, get full, rest, eat some more, rest, eat, etc, all day long.

“What? The same thing for dinner? That’s terrible!” And then she called me “saitei” a “horrible person” for expecting them to eat the same thing for lunch and dinner..

“Well,” I said, “It’s more like one big all day meal. you make lots of food and eat it all day long.”

“I don’t understand. Why would you do that?” She said.
It was a phrase I heard over and over the more I tried to explain it.

Now, I LOVE turkey, and everything that goes with it (except cranberries) and for me, Thanks giving is a special time to enjoy all of it, and I’ll eat leftovers for every meal, including breakfast and snacks, until it is all gone. Needless to say, from her point of view that borders on insanity.

All in all, I expect this to be a difficult holiday for her. she doesn’t care for most of the food that I’m making, and she’s making cranberry salad, shrimp, and pound cake with chestnuts for dessert (she doesn’t like pumpkin pie, either) and worst of all, is that I’ll be in the kitchen, which she will openly say is Her Domain, and no one else belongs there.

We’ll see how it goes…

To everyone reading, I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving, and eat at least as much as I’m going to!

Off topic… and off my rocker

How to know how old you really are: Decide to tag along with a group of coworkers around half your age when they decide to take the stairs to go up 9 floors, and start with the premise that you can keep up with them.

I was taking the stairs 2 at a time and was in the middle of the group, until I hit the 4th floor, when every part of my body said, in unison, “OK, you’re DONE NOW!”

 

I was determined not to give up, and finish what I had started, walking very slowly up the stairs, one at a time… By the time I was at the 7th floor, the guys had left me far behind and were at the top waiting. I was having to take breaks every few steps, and thinking that I was (seriously) going to die in a stairwell…

 

The man who knew a little too much

My own process of learning Japanese is rather slow, the girls quiz me often and know that my memory is sometimes very poor. But I still surprise them occasionally with knowing something that they don’t expect me to know.

A couple of my favorite examples:

My girlfriend told me I was behaving “Hentai” (perverted) and I immediately responded, “Shouganai” (It can’t be helped). This was the first time she heard me use that phrase, which is quite common in Japan, but not used much in the US, but it really cracked her up, and it’s still one of my favorite phrases to tease her with.

Some “Engrish” I encountered…

My girlfriend’s youngest daughter had a birthday recently and she received some clothes with English phrases from her (non-English speaking) grandmother in Japan. They reminded me of the Engrish.com site, which collects poorly translated and rather comical examples of English, mostly from Asian countries. In Japan it’s quite common to use English words and phrases on clothing, and it’s just as common for them not to make any sense.

We all had a good chuckle at what the shirts said, although the first one here, as you will see,  was kind of disturbing. Hopefully when she wears it to school we won’t get a call from her teacher…

An Insiders View of American Schools

My girlfriend’s oldest daughter is in 9th grade. She’s been attending school in the US since 7th grade, when she first arrived and spoke no English. Now her English skills are quite good, and being a teenager, she’d also quite outspoken at home.

At dinner time, I often am laughing at the stories she comes home with, and her perspectives on American students, teachers, and school culture, and usually end up trying to give some rationale as to why things are done, or considered acceptable here. Unfortunately, a response like “Shouganai…” isn’t ever enough.

It has lead to many interesting discussions on how learning and student behavior differs from Japan, and a lot of laughter all around. Here’s a list of some of the questions I’ve gotten from her, you can tell how Japan differs, as in Japan, it isn’t done, or is done the opposite way from the US:

• Why do the students have to change classrooms, instead of the teachers?
• Why are girls hugging all the time?
• Why do boys burp all the time, and loudly?
• Why don’t the students pay attention? They don’t think of school to learn, just to meet their friends and text each other….
• The teachers don’t care if the students are talking or not paying attention, or eating or drinking or texting in class! Often the teacher is eating or drinking too!
• Why do people think I eat sushi every day? (she takes obento for lunch)
• Everyone wears too much perfume and cologne, it smells terrible everywhere!
• I hate it that people fidget (binbouyusuri) in their seats – and so many people do it!
• Not enough time to go to toilet!
• Cafeteria is to small.

At school she tends to be very quiet, but she is really quite opinionated. Although she has a couple of friends, she would prefer it if no one talked to her and everyone was more focused on studying. she doesn’t want to hear personal stories from the teachers, she just wants to sit and learn.

She is concurrently homeschooling all of the required Japanese schoolwork as well, so it’s like she’s attending two schools at the same time. I’ve never seen anyone study as much as her. Currently she wants to become a veterinarian after she graduates. She tends to like animals more than people. She really doesn’t like boys at all, and I already feel sorry for the first boy that approaches her to ask her to a dance, or whatever, because I’m sure she’ll eviscerate his fragile ego without mercy and leave it torn an bloody on the dirt. But I’m sure she’ll be a good Vet.

They’re Laughing at Me, Again – #3

When it comes to body language, there are some things that send the same message across cultures, like smiling or frowning, and there are some that are very different.

One example of the differences between Americans and the Japanese is using our hand to beckon someone closer to us. in the US, you keep the palm of the hand up, opening and closing the fingers, whereas in Japan it’s done with the palm down. If the palm is up, it means “Give me something”.

But that is a small difference… Imagine my surprise to discover a common body language that is very old in western culture, to essentially have the reverse effect of what I was trying to convey…

This is so Japan…

There was an article in the Mainichi Daily news titled “Yakuza group forcing members to take ‘gangster exam’ “

Here’s a bit from the article:

Japan’s largest and most notorious organized crime group, the Yamaguchi-gumi, is forcing members to take a “gangster exam” in order to reduce costly damages suits, police have discovered.

An affiliate based in Shiga Prefecture is distributing written tests on the revised Anti-Organized Crime Law, which allows higher-ranking gang members to be sued for the actions of their subordinates, as a preventative measure against future lawsuits. Police believe the test has been introduced by Yamaguchi-gumi groups across the country.

I can’t imagine a written test given to gang members in the US, but in Japan, it doesn’t surprise me a bit. I have an Italian heritage, and know of relations that were involved in “The family business” but there the rules are unwritten, and if you break a rule then… well… let’s just say you don’t want to break a rule…

What anime fans must look like to the Japanese

Click for Larger

I’ve met a few people like this, and no, I’m not one of them…

You can’t do that on American TV: Part 2 – Batsu (Penalty) Games

Some of the funniest and most disturbing TV from Japan involves Batsu Games which means “Penalty Games” where the people involves are painfully penalized based on random events or by breaking the rules set out at the beginning of the game. In the latter type,  the game is designed to try to make the players break the rules as often as possible.

In this clip, players are given a tongue twister, with a short period of time to complete it without mistakes…Or else…

There’s plenty more after the jump: